I hold my breath every time I go through a tunnel.

Running. I remember running. Fast and aimless like a child on a playground. 

Against a warm wind not strong enough to wipe away the tears or dry the blood. 

I can’t breath, I can’t think, I can’t feel. 

I just run. 

Running under street lights, in front of cars, in the middle of the street,

hoping someone will see me. 

I try to scream but I can’t, and that comforts me - I can’t scream in a dream,

but this is no dream.

I had built Jericho around me, with walls built to scale,

but you were so much bigger, 

your grip so much stronger,

your breath so much hotter

I am broken, disoriented, worthless.

My memory comes back in flashes, that night and days, weeks, months after

“Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter…”

Indelible in the hippocampus is the feeling of my face shoved against the cold concrete,

Indelible in the hippocampus is the heat of your breath on my neck and your hand over my mouth, 

Indelible in the hippocampus is the sharpness of your nails digging into my thighs,

Indelible in the hippocampus is the firm grip on my shoulders,

Indelible in the hippocampus is the air against my naked body.

I remember running. Running to get out of the tunnel where time stood still, where I thought This is the end, where a piece of me was taken, where my skin and bones and blood and breath belonged to you. 

I hold my breath every time I go through a tunnel

hoping I can take the life out of what you’ve left in me. 

Star Crossed

You break through my creature comforts just a little more every time a new star is reflected in your eyes

I’d much rather look at the stars in your eyes than in the sky.

The whispering of the wind and the crashing of the waves fall silent to the symphony of the universe
In the depth of your eyes,
On the edges of your sly smirk,
On the tips of your fingers.

I’m captivated by the richness of your universe,
Let’s get lost.